If you've been reading the blog for a while, you know that Pantera is one of my favorite bands of all time. Dimebag Darrell is my favorite guitar player and may his soul rest in peace.
If you're a fan of Pantera than you know their first album was Cowboys from Hell, right? Wrong! You're fucking wrong! Get it straight!
They actually had a string of albums in the 80's. The first two or three were slick, almost hair-metal affairs. Wikipedia calls them "glam". I don't. I hear a definite Iron Maiden/Judas Priest influence.
Granted, they hadn't gotten into the groove they became known for. Some of it is crap(original lead singer, Terry Glaze's, voice is awful) but some of the stuff is actually pretty good.
Anyway, I encourage you to look up their interesting history. Here's a track from the first album with Phil Anselmo which is called Power Metal. Some of the songs are lame, but Dimebag Tears.It.Up on a few tracks.
This is most evident on this track called Over and Out.
Check it out. Be warned though. Phil's voice is a bit 80's. His trademark growl is barely developed. Arguably it wasn't really developed on CFH, either.
Enjoy! Let me know what you think. Type rest of the post here
My lovely wife has written a blog about our wedding cake and my birthday cake. Why should you care? Because she made it from freaking scratch! That's why. She's a tremendous cook/baker and reading it made me want more, more, more!
Since I've been in school, most of my time has been occupied in two ways: reading and writing. While reading takes the lion's share of the time, writing about what I've read and creating a cohesive, academic and (hopefully) interesting paper is the ultimate goal.
I'm going to outline a few tips to writing a better paper. Some of these I've figured out along the way. Others I've learned from my lovely wife, The Ladybird, and her English literature / law background.
In order to graduate from the Lyndon and the Ladybirds Institute for Higher Learnin' (I donated a lot of money) I'll have to write a thesis paper on a topic of my choosing, and incorporate what I've learned over the past two years. This 59-100 page behemoth requires months of research and draft after draft until it resembles something that I'd be proud to turn in in exchange for a degree.
However, before I start the writing and research part, I have to have my thesis.
What is a thesis? Essentially, it's what the hell you're gonna write about.
The more specific the better.
Writing about ancient Egypt is way too broad; you have to narrow it down. One of my professors thinks that, in order for a thesis to be effective, you have to stretch until it makes you uncomfortable. It has to make you squirm and think, “can I really do this?”
For example, instead of ancient Egypt, your topic could be “the politics of ancient Egypt.” Or, since that's still fairly broad, “ The politics of ancient Egypt and their impact on its women.” If you were supremely interested in the topic, you could distill it down further.
Such a thesis would definitely make me uncomfortable. This is a good thing. A little sweat always help propel you and your best efforts rapidly toward the deadline.
Mechanics
Once you have your thesis (or a rough approximation thereof) it's time to do your research. Since this isn't a post on research, we'll skip this part. However, if you're interested in how to do effective academic research here's a good site. I'll just say this. 3 x 5 index cards are your best friend. They allow for a visual representation of how your paper can be laid out.
The First Draft
I believe the first draft is punishment for going to school. For me it's always excruciating because, let's face it, a good first draft should suck. If you're pleased with your first draft you're either a genius, or you think much too highly of your abilities.
I almost always hand write my first draft. I prefer the yellow legal notepads. It removes the intimidation of a blank screen and allows me to focus on what it is I want to say. It also lends itself better to the kind of stream-of-consciousness writing that helps to focus and hone amorphous ideas. Don't worry about spelling or grammar at this point. Just get your ideas down on paper.
Write your thesis at the top of the first page and refer to it often – It doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to be in the exact wording you'll use in the paper, it just has to be there.
Don't be afraid to start in the middle – I used to try and start my drafts by getting that killer intro. I read the New Yorker frequently, and I love how they always have an interesting intro that pulls the reader in. Don't try and do this. Start where you have the most information about your topic. That's inevitably going to be the meat of the paper. The intro will comes later as you pull from what you know about the topic.
Write it and put it away – So what if you don't reach your requisite 10 pages? Write as much as you can and put it away for a day. Go do something else. It'll give your brain a rest and give you time to ruminate on what you've just written.
The Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth Drafts....
Type it out – After I come back from a self-imposed waiting period, I type my handwritten paper word for word, into a document; word for word, omitting nothing nor adding nothing. The process allows you to hammer out your structure and your argument.
This is your second draft. This will really give you a feeling as to what you like and what you don't like about your paper. Again, type your thesis (In this paper I will explore the politics of ancient Egypt in relation to the women of the period) and place it in bold, at the top of your first page.
Add to it – Find the holes in logic, find the jumps and smooth them out. Add research. Stuff it full of information that pertains to the thesis. You'll probably purge a lot of it, but it's good to have in the initial formulation of the paper.
Continually refer to your thesis – Each sentence should in someway justify or be relative to your thesis. If it doesn't or it isn't, cut it out. It's not a book report. It must have dense analysis. (thanks, Ladybird!)
When I think about this concept, it reminds me of two things: Matt Foley and country music.
Remember Chris Farley's character, motivational speaker Matt Foley, from SNL back in the day? He lived in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER! Think of that as the thesis of the sketch. He continually referred to it and referenced it. There was nothing superfluous to his message. His goal was to keep kids from smoking doobies and as a result having to live in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!
Similar to Chris Farley's motivational speaker, nearly any country song has a thesis and sticks to it. Here's the number one song for the week ending October 10. It's Toby Keith's American Ride. I have picked this song at random, I've never heard it. From the looks of these lyrics, I don't think I want to. They're unspeakably awful. Regardless, they fit with what I'm trying to explain.
P.S. I pulled these straight from here. I've left the spelling errors as is.
Winter gettin colder, summer gettin warmer. Tidal wave comin cross the Mexican border. Why buy a gallon, its cheaper by the barrel. Just dont be busted singin Christmas carols.
Thats us, Thats right Gotta love this American ride. Both ends of the ozone burnin. Funny how the world keeps turnin. Look ma, no hands. I love this American ride. Gotta love this American ride.
Momma gets her rocks off watchin Desperate Housewives. Daddy works his can off payin for the good life. Kids on the YouTube learnin how to be cool. Livin in a cruel world, pays to be a mean girl.
Thats us, Thats right Gotta love this American ride. Both ends of the ozone burnin. Funny how the world keeps turnin. Look ma, no hands. I love this American ride. Gotta love this American ride.
Poor little infamous America's town. She gained five pounds and lost her crown. Quick fix plastic surgical antidote. Got herself a record, cant even sing a note.
Plasma gettin bigger, Jesus gettin smaller. Spill a cup of coffee, make a million dollars. Customs caught a thug with an aerosol can. If th shoe don't fit, the fit's gonna hit the shan.
Thats us, Thats right Gotta love this American ride. Both ends of the ozone burnin. Funny how the world keeps turnin. Hot dog, Hot hands. I love this American ride. Gotta love this American ride. Oh yeah, na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na........... nanananananana
The thesis is “I love this American ride. Gotta love this American ride.” The rest of the song continually refers back to the fact that Toby Keith loves the American ride. There's nothing superfluous in this song. It's a discourse on the current American way of life. However, he likes it. Hot dog, hot hands? I don't know. The guy is a total dickbag.
Print It Out
Waste paper! Waste ink! Print that sucker out after a couple of revisions on the computer. It serves two purposes. The first is that a hard copy will ALWAYS help you find more errors than you would otherwise find by editing on the computer. Secondly, you can scribble in the margins and make notes that will help you through the process.
Needless to say, keep EVERY draft until the paper is turned in. On a related note, save every draft under a different document name. I save mine like this 1-1 Ancient Egypt Paper.doc
The first “1” is the number of the assignment (paper 1). The second is the draft. I've written papers that go up to 1-12. You gotta edit, baby. This leads to my next point...
Be Brutal
Don't think that your words are permanent and that changing even one sentence will ruin your perfect masterpiece. Face it. It probably sucks at this point. Edit the crap out of it. Any jumps in logic, any bad arguments, any sentences that don't make sense or that make baby Jesus cry? Cut them! Slice and dice.
Let your spouse be brutal - This is the most painful. I've finished 5 or 6 drafts and handed them over to the Ladybird to edit. When she gets done the paper looks like it was marked up by a gang of preschoolers armed with red Bics. Only more helpful. It kills the ego a bit, but in the end it works.
Don't Turn it in Early
Always work on it until the last possible second. You get no points for turning papers in early. Take advantage of the time you have been given and use it. This will only help your paper.
Steal, but don't Plagiarize.
Remember, there are no original ideas. No, seriously. Anything you can think of has been thought of and been written about in a much more elegant fashion. You're not special.
Finally, here's a bonus piece of advice: If you're having trouble formulating your thesis, meet with your professor with the ideas or drafts you have and they'll guide a thesis right to your brain. They can help you hammer out a good thesis, and you can save those precious brain cells for blogging or figuring out the post-graduation monthly payments of your massive student loans.
In honor of the mediocrity that is U2, and the fact that their only Florida stop was in my fair city of Tampa, here's a link to a blog post I wrote in January of 2008 regarding Bono's manager and his views toward pirated music. It's semi-related and tangential, but entertaining nonetheless.
I hate neglecting the old blog. Unfortunately, school comes first. I have to tell myself 'No! bad doggy' when I get the urge to put down the books and come over to Ol' Grey (my awesome Macbook Pro) to virtually interact with the world via the internet.
Since I only have a few minutes, I'll do an abbreviated rundown of the topics I should have blogged about.
Celebrities
Michael Jackson - Sad, but halfway expected. Patrick Swayze - Don't care. Don Hewitt - Sad, 60 Minutes is a great show. John Hughes - Meh. Breakfast Club was merely ok. Walter Cronkite - Sad. Smart guy, tough journalist. Steve McNair - Don't cheat on your wife and you wouldn't have been murdered. Billy Mays - Meh. Farrah Fawcett - Don't have much of a connection to her, but she seemed like a good person and had an unfortunate disease. Bea Arthur - Sad. She was funny. Dan Seals - SAD! I love England Dan and John Ford Coley.
News
Republicans are continually pissing me off. Hey Republicans: Just because you hate yourself doesn't mean you should take it out on people who need help.
The Supreme Court has taken up a Second Amendment case. As if "those" people need another reason to be angry. (Gun nuts, that is.)
I found a clear suitcase full of dry dog food outside of the office today. Some homeless man probably stashed it there so he wouldn't have to lug it around; he most likely has a dog that will go hungry now.
It's probably a pit bull though. So, I'm glad I tossed it. Although a hungry, homeless pit bull is worse for the community than a happy, homeless pit bull. Whatevs.
I've gained ten pounds in the past two months. I think it's muscle though, so it's cool. My pants fit fine and my abs are hardening like my arteries used to. In the immortal words of Carl Spackler from Caddyshack, "I've got that going for me."
Gossip
I totally heard you were gay. It's cool. I'm not homophobic or nothin'.
I totally heard you vommed all over yourself at Billy's party. Not cool.
Since it seems like my life is consumed with reading every book ever written, I've had less time to write:( Yes, I used the sad face. Please don't lol.
However, I have found time to read other blogs. This one, from Art of Manliness struck me because it highlights a problem many of people my age (mid-to-late-twenties) have: They want it all with none of the work.
I'm not convinced that our generation is doomed. Each generation steps up when they need to. Our parents aren't going to be around forever. Someone's got to take over once the Boomers retire en masse.
The old cliche still holds true. There really is no substitution for hard work. Unless you're applying for the same job I am. In that case, you deserve a break. May I suggest Bennigan's? That's where dreams go to get deep-fried in herpes and then die. Type rest of the post here
